I was almost 9 months pregnant with my first baby, when I had my first encounter with the police here in the United States, and let me tell it was the scariest shxxx ever.

Back in my home country La policía es mas o menos un chiste, or at least it was when I was growing up. They were not tall, their uniforms or lack of where a joke, and you could bribe them for a minimum amount of Bs. Que pena pero es la pura verdad, verdadera.

So as soon as I got here, I knew that that was not going the be the case. I had to follow the law, starting by getting my driver’s license which took me 3 failed attempts to get BTW. How was that possible?

The stop signs really meant STOP, and the yellow lights meant caution and not corre corre y acelera que viene la roja. On the other hand, everyone was following  the rules and I could barely hear people honking the horn, uff que silencio tan maravilloso.

Well, during my pregnancy I was also working and going to school… so I had no time to slow down, literally. One day I was driving to school, on a hurry, with my belly about to pop when all of a sudden out of nowhere, les juro, I heard the police’s sirens right behind me.

My first reaction was…that is impossible,I’m pregnant!! (como si eso me diera permiso para todo). Well it was very possible my friends, y cuando se baja ese policía…cultural shock at its best. He was the biggest, tallest, handsomest, uniformed with boots and armed policeman I had ever seen in my life.

Bueno ese señor no se se había terminado de acercar a mi carro when I was already crying, but not softly ladylike crying, estaba hipando!. Hormonally crying, uncontrollably crying like a madwoman, while he was trying to do his job and asked for my license and registration.

He goes to his car, comes back to mine, gives me back my papers and very concerned tells me: lady please stop crying, you are carrying a little one. And then I thought aww finally some resemblance to my country, he is not that bad. I smiled back  still con lagrimas en los ojos and said: thank you sir, I will. And then the biggest, tallest, handsomest, uniformed with boots and armed policeman I had ever seen in my life, smiles the prettiest of the smiles and says: You are most certainly welcome, it’s $250… por el pecho.